Traditional conservatives are against special assistance for the handicapped. However, they seem to hire people who are missing something important at Possum News Corp. A sense of smell.
They do provide smelling nose dogs for the men and women who have to give the dog an article of liberal clothing and have the dog track down anything associated with the target.
Who would want universal heath care when you can die penniless of cancer and be called a loser by people who lost their nose by slamming it in their safe deposit box while trying to hide money from Old Uncle Sam.
I expect Possum News has a special service for helping their employees hide money from Uncle Sam. They support a man who has off shore bank accounts for President. A man named Mutt, who seems to not have a political sense of smell. Perhaps he lost it by slamming his nose in a bank vault too.
Dogs sniff and lick and seem to tolerate other dogs of all breeds, but their nose less masters do not seem to be able to learn the simple lesson of the dog. Dogs will comfort and lick a fallen dog no matter its size or shape or color difference. At Possum News Corp, compassion is a progressive smell. Its the smell of their money walking away from them into something useless, like public schools, libraries, universities, and places of learning, or fair medical care. A blind dog feels the fear of its master and is a bit more conservative than one that can see, but it still finds progressives and conservatives to pretty much smell the same way.
At Possum News, reality is baking a cake, and each day is a birthday party for ignorance, where at least 25% of the country can celebrate being themselves without guilt.
Cake without guilt. Baked by people without a nose.